7-year-old throws tantrum and claims she likes her grandma for her money, dad protests when she tells her it hurt her feelings: 'She ended up calling my daughter a brat'

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    AITA for leaving my stepmom’s lake house abruptly after she called my daughter a brat?

    Over the Fourth of July, my wife and I visited my stepmom at her boyfriend's lake house with our two daughters (7 & 6). The girls had been staying with them the week prior. On Saturday, my daughter and another girl asked to leave the lake early to play in the hot tub. My stepmom said no, and my daughter got upset and cried. The other girl then asked her, "What do you even like about her?" and my daughter said, "She has a new house and money." Not the most thoughtful thing to say, but she's seven
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    The other girl ran and told my stepmom what was said. My stepmom had been drinking all day and clearly took it personally. Later, I saw her walk up to my daughter (sitting quietly on the couch), get in her face, and say, "You make me so sad." I immediately stepped in, told her to stop, and sent my daughter out of the room. I told my stepmom not to talk to my kid like that, and we started arguing. I asked if we could speak privately-there were a dozen people in the room 10 feet away-but she refus
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    I told my wife we were leaving and went to pack. We had planned to stay until Sunday, but I didn't feel comfortable anymore. My wife supported me, even though I could tell she wasn't fully on board. While packing, my stepmom came upstairs still being defensive. We got into a shouting match. I told her I didn't care about her money and never wanted a dime from her. She kept bringing up how "entitled" my daughter was. She walked out, and I continued packing.
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    As I was loading the car, her boyfriend came out and told me he didn't think we should come back. He said she was "heartbroken," but I let him know I appreciated his hospitality. He hadn't been involved in the conflict at all. Before leaving, I asked my stepmom if she wanted to say goodbye to her granddaughters. She wouldn't speak or look at me. Later, she came outside and said goodbye to the girls. I told her I loved her, and she snapped, "You have a h 1 of a way of showing it. I doubt it."
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    That started another argument. Her boyfriend confirmed he had said we shouldn't come back. When she asked if he was going to say goodbye to the girls (he's been in their lives since they were toddlers), he hesitated, then stuck his head in the car for a quick goodbye. She'd never act that way with his grandkids. We argued once more, and she ended up calling my daughter a brat. That was it. I said we were done and left without saying goodbye to anyone else in the house. TL;DR: My 7-year-old made
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    Commenters strongly disagreed with the dad's attitude.

    SQ_Madriel So, your child's reaction to being told no to getting in the hot tub was too start crying and then when asked why she liked her grandparent, she said she had money and a new house. That doesn't sound spoiled and entitled to you? Who wants to hear that kids they dote on only care about them for stuff? At what point did you talk to you child about her behavior and words? YTA did such poor parenting.
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    DirectAntique I'm thinking grandma said no to the hot tub because everyone was at the lake, and no one could supervise the girls in the hot tub. What 7 tear old says "she's got money." .....she heard that somewhere
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    ValNotThatVal YTA. Your daughter is 7 years old and you think that having a tantrum because she can't go play in a hot tub is acceptable behavior? You think saying she only likes her grandmother because she has money and a nice house is 'just an offhand comment'? What especially sks is her little sister did nothing wrong and now she won't be allowed back at what sounds like an amazing place for kids because your 7 year old thinks it's acceptable to have tantrums when she doesn't get her way and
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    Ok _Alps4323 YTA. The child is 7. Her grandmother told her how she FELT after she made a really heinous comment. Why can't she have an honest conversation about how that comment made her feel? Your child is old enough to have a conversation about why that comment was inappropriate, and why it made someone she loves feel sad. You interrupted. Why? You trust her enough for your kids to spend time over there...why is it a confrontation when she's talking to the child about her actions? Your kid was
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    JellyfishSolid2216 YTA. Your daughter was being spoiled and entitled. It was the right thing for your stepmother to do by telling your daughter that what she has said had made her sad. Your daughter needs to learn to not say hurtful things and it sounds like you would prefer she never learn from her bad choices.
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    ΥΤΑ Cmonepeople 1. Your stepmom is good enough to watch your kids for the week prior and let you all stay at her lake house but not to correct your child's horrible behavior? It's okay to acknowledge that your child's comments did hurt her feelings. 2. You or your wife must talk about "her new house and money" because what 7 year says something like that?!? They care about people who spend time with them. Only adults care about new houses and money. 3. Instead of letting your kid take her lumps,
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    Personal-Y YTA for engaging in multiple fights and confrontations in front of your child. Grow up. You continued the argument every single time, right down to when you manipulated your stepmother into engaging the kids after she was r de. Thereby continuing the fight because neither of you had calmed down when you 'asked' her if she was going to say goodbye. Do better. You're the mirror your children will reflect back at the world. You're teaching them conflict resolution. How to treat people wh
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    Mundane-Run6179 ESH. Your stepmom shouldn't have confronted your daughter the way she did but you were out of line not acknowledging her feelings and correcting the frankly rode and entitled comment your daughter made. 7 is old enough to know better than to say things like that. Your Stepmother was rightfully hurt by that comment. Again, she shouldn't have confronted your daughter the way she did, she should have come to you and addressed it, but YOU shouldn't have stonewalled her, dismissed her
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    SteelLt78 No. Adults should confront children when they are mean and hurtful by telling them that in the moment
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    Tears_Of_Laughter YTA. Your daughter WAS being spoiled and entitled, and it's valid that her comments made your stepmom sad. Why did you immediately step in to prevent that conversation? You and your kid owe her an apology if anything.
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    ΥΤΑ Ancient_Yak4019 You ARE raising a brat. Honestly I work with kids everyday and parents like you are who we all talk sh about.
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    CalligrapherNeat628 You said you don't want a dime from your stepmother but you sure do like using her time to watch your kids for a week.
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    mgee94 I wondering how op and wife talk about stepmother in their house to the kid catch and be comfortable saying those kind of things about her
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    ordinaryhorse YTA honestly OP sounds like the brat. "She's got money"? Do 7 year old kids really say that, or did she hear it from OP?
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    Expert-Bus9720 Your daughter is a brat. YTA. If you don't nip this type of behavior in the bud, it is going to get worse. She is old enough to understand the word no.
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    yeahipostedthat YTA. First your title makes it sound like your step mom called your daughter a brat to her face (which would have actually been justified) but all she did was tell her that she made her sad with what she said. But can you explain to me how you are okay with your step mom watching her a whole week for you but she's not allowed to talk to her about bad behavior? How does that work? Your daughter was obnoxious and ungrateful, she deserved to be called out. And seeing how you reacted
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    sunlightanddoghair YTA mostly. the way you said she was in the kids face does sound weird, but you took no action to correct the really hurtful thing she said.

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